


The Light won't flicker and the light won't fade

by Trustmeimahealer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Maybe a tiny bit of angst, Probably going to add more characters, Probably just fluff, anya and Raven are a thing, but i'm not going into it, clarke is sexy af, lexa is so cute, mention of emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trustmeimahealer/pseuds/Trustmeimahealer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa hates parties.<br/>Clarke loves them.</p><p> or<br/>the one where Raven and Anya try to get their two favourite idiots to get together</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't you want take time and get to love me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not american so if i use too many british phrases or something let me know, also if you want this continues then shoot me a comment or something bc i'm not sure how this is.
> 
> lexa and clarke meet for the first time

Lexa hated parties. Although it was a rare occasion where she could see no other option, despite her attempts to find an excuse. It was Anya’s girlfriend’s birthday and although Lexa was mostly sure that she was only invited out of politeness but her sister had insisted that she come along.  
“Come on Lex. I swear you haven’t left this apartment for fun since,” Anya cuts herself off, wincing at the memory of what they had lost. “It’s been nearly two years, you deserve to relax.”  
Lexa’s face turned to a stormy glare from where she sat on the sofa. “You can say her name. I’m not going to shoot you.”  
Anya nodded and sat by her. “Costia.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. They had been so close, the three of them, obviously Lexa had been closer but Costia had been just as much family to Anya. Lexa’s eyes turned misty, she looked away to focus on pulling a stray thread from a cushion. Anya sighed and patted her sisters knee, still unsure of how to tackle her when she’s like this. “Look, a few hours is all I ask. Get drunk, dance a bit. If you still want to leave then I won’t stop you, but at least give it a go.”  
Lexa rolled her eyes. “I have left the house for fun. I just don’t find parties fun, especially with a load of people I’ve never met before.”  
“You’ll love Raven’s friends. They’re great. If you ever joined me for anything then you’d already know that.” Anya threw her a playful glare, glad that Lexa had recovered from the mention of Costia.  
Lexa narrowed her eyes, knowing that Anya would not be giving up. “Fine, I’ll give it two hours and I’m not drinking. I want to drive home.”  
Ok, so Lexa knew she could have given up more of a fight but she can recognise when her sister is on a mention and she knows better than to resist. That’s how she ended up following her into a packed apartment with blaring music that could be heard from the stairwell. Raven had bounded up to Anya as soon as they got in, clearly already drunk, and threw her arms around her.  
“Babe! I missed you!” She slurred.  
Anya pulled back and placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead with a playful smile. “You saw me this afternoon.”  
Raven shook her head. “Way too long.” Suddenly her attention snapped to Lexa who was standing awkwardly behind Anya. “Lexa!” Now it was Lexa who was wrapped up in a bone crushing hug whilst Anya laughed from the side. “I’m so glad you’re here! Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.” She dragged her through to the living room before she could object. As they pushed through Lexa bumped into a blonde girl with striking blue eyes who she couldn’t help but smile at as they passed.  
Lexa suddenly felt as if this party wasn’t going to be so bad. She was eventually dragged to a brunette around her age and a tall muscular guy who looked as if he could rip anyone in there to pieces as they stood by the drinks table by the window. 

“Ray, who’s the hottie?” The brunette asked with an ever so slightly predatory grin.  
Raven turned to her, as if only just remembering that she had a vice like grip on her hand and let go. “Introducing Anya’s hot, but not quite as hot, sister Lexa!”  
The big guy smiled warmly and put his hand out. “I’m Lincoln, nice to meet you.” Lexa returned the smile and shook his hand, glad that he was not as intimidating as he had seemed.  
The brunette shook her head with that same grin. “Always so serious, Lincoln. “ She turned to him and pecked him on the cheek. “I’m Octavia and can I just say that we are both very hurt that Anya chose to keep you from us. I thought we were friends.” She pouted and Lincoln laughed good naturedly.  
He leaned in when he noticed Lexa’s slightly startled expression. “Don’t worry, she’s kidding. We’re a bit like a tribe, no one knows how to talk to people outside of it. I was the new one not so long ago, you get used to it.”  
Lexa nodded in understanding, Anya had been pestering her to meet them for months but from what she had heard they were far too loud and inconsiderate for her liking however the two that she had met so far (as well as Raven of course) had seemed nice. She turned around to say something to the girl in question only to see her at the other end of the room making out with her sister, before she had to quickly avert her eyes as she saw Anya grab Ravens ass. Gross.  
Before she could react, Octavia was shoving a cup into her face. “Try that.”  
Lexa shook her head. “Sorry I’m driving home.”  
“Oh don’t be silly, stay here with the rest of us. Raven always makes a mean after party breakfast.” Octavia’s expression had softened to be less intimidating now, probably due to a hint form Lincoln who was looking at the pair watchfully.  
“Hey O, who’s this?” The blonde from before emerged next to Lexa, allowing her to get a good look at her. She was beyond pretty; a killer smile, maybe a couple of inches smaller than her and a low cut top revealing her mouth-watering figure that Lexa couldn’t help but notice. She took the drink from Octavia’s hand and took a big gulp, cringing as she realised it was a very, very stiff whiskey and coke.  
“Anya’s sister, Lexa. Lexa, this is Clarke Griffin.” Octavia introduced them with sparkling eyes as she noticed Lexa’s reaction .  
“You’re the one I bumped into before.” Lexa spat out, trying to keep some semblance of her cool. Clarke smirked.  
“You’re the one Raven was dragging around.” She replied, tilting her head with a determined glint. “How is it that Anya has kept you hidden for so long?”  
“I don’t like parties.” Was the reply, instantly kicking herself for sounding too distant.  
“And yet, here you are.” This girl really was something else.  
Lexa grinned. “Here I am.” She took another gulp of her drink and tried her best not to show her distaste. “So how do you know Ray?”  
Octavia laughed behind them. “Oh that’s a story and a half.”  
Clarke looked hesitant but looked back at Lexa and felt so comfortable, either from the booze or the girl herself, and decided that it wouldn’t do any harm. “We dated the same guy at the same time. We found out he was double timing with us and we both kicked him to the curb. Real bonding experience.”  
Lexa nodded, she knew Raven had a bad relationship before she was with Anya, it had caused issues for them when they first started seeing each other. “I think I heard about that.” She smiled softly, knowing that there was more to the story than that. Finn wasn’t just a cheat, he had manipulated both of them for years, Raven had struggled so much to trust after that. Anya had once revealed that he had been emotionally abusive to Raven by accident when she came home from the other girl’s place, utterly drained from watching her cry and tell her what happened. Lexa didn’t doubt that if he was that bad to Raven then the chances are he would have treat Clarke similarly. She didn’t let it show on her face.  
“We’ve been friends ever since.” Clarke’s misty eyes cleared and Lexa had an unbearable urge to hold her. But obviously, they had just met and she was far from stable herself.  
Either way Lexa was screwed.


	2. We could build a perfect world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, my girls are nerds and i love them,   
> There's a reason Lexa hates parties

Clarke shook off the feeling of Lexa’s knowing eyes, suddenly unsure of the girl in front of her. She tried a smile, still unsettled. “So you’re Anya’s infamous hot little sister.”   
Lexa nodded with a smirk. “I hope I’m living up to expectations.”  
A rush of warmth spread across Clarke’s face as she blushed. “You certainly are.”  
An electric look passed between them, as if sparks flew from their eyes and seared the nerves on the surface of their skin. Clarke was the first to break the stare, looking back to Octavia and Lincoln who were watching the exchange with amused expressions.   
Overwhelmed, with yet another drink being pushed into her hands as she realises that she finished her last one, Lexa takes a sip to cool herself off before she really makes an idiot of herself. Clarke looks at her quizzically.  
“O cool it off on the drinks yeah? We’ve only just got to meet her, she’ll think that we’re trying to get her drunk.” Clarke scolds putting a hand over Lexa’s and swiping her thumb against her knuckles in a way that felt more caring than condescending and far too intimate for two people who have just met.  
“Let the girl drink!” Octavia shrugs it off as she pours out a few shots. “Get this down you, Lex. Before little Miss killjoy over here gets you down.”  
Lexa accepts the shot as well as her own drink, she’s always been good with alcohol but its been a while and her head is already beginning to feel light as a warmth pits itself in her belly.   
“Octavia!” Clarke looks furious.  
“Chill out! Anya told us to make sure she has a good time!”   
“It’s fine, Clarke. Really.” Lexa leaves no room for any more on the topic, keen to get the women in front of her to stop arguing. “I’m more capable of deciding when I’ve had enough.”  
Octavia looks smug and Clarke is about to challenge her when Lexa downs her drink and realises that Clarke still has a hold of her hand. She threads their fingers together and smiles shyly as Clarke blushes. “Will you dance with me?”  
“Of course.” There’s no hesitation, in fact it’s Clarke that leads them into the improvised dance floor in front of the speakers.   
Lexa had never been one for dancing, she hadn’t even really known why she’d asked, maybe she’d known in the back of her mind that Clarke was. Maybe the wave of dizziness that hit her once she moved just made anything that involved her hands on Clarke’s hips a very, very good idea.  
She’s hesitant at first, barely touching the girl in front of her, but the beat is low and insistent and so is Clarke and before she knows it she’s laughing like she hasn’t in years and moving in time with the woman in front of her entirely out of instinct. They’re overwhelmingly close, so much that Lexa can smell the musk of Clarke’s perfume and her hands are frim against her waist, her face is in a kissable distance and Lexa feels bold enough to press a kiss to her forehead. “I think you fell from the sky.” She’s way too out of it to articulate the pick up line she was trying to say and Clarke tips her head back and laughs in a way that makes her feel like it doesn’t matter.  
“Like an alien?” She scoffs and lifts a hand to play with the tufts of hair at the back of Lexa’s neck.  
Lexa shakes her head and makes herself dizzy again. “I meant like an angel. Whatever you prefer, really.” She can’t help but laugh at Clarke’s expression, a mixture between amusement and embarrassment.  
“I’m no angel.”   
Lexa shakes her head. “Ok, but you’re definitely out of this world.” She hadn’t been this bold in her life, but she hadn’t felt this in awe of someone either.   
“Are we talking ET? Klingon? Jar Jar Binks? Got to be more specific in terms of aliens.”   
Lexa’s smile is so big she feels like she’s going to burst. “Oh I was going for like sexy alien.”  
“Sexy alien?” Clarke scoffs and is somehow even closer than before and Lexa doesn’t know why she doesn’t just kiss her but she doesn’t and she isn’t going to think about why. “I mean Jar Jar is pretty sexy.” Lexa doesn’t know how she’s talking to such a nerd right now.  
“Oh I’d definitely rather be dancing with him right now.” Lexa plays along and Clarke grins at her efforts. “Honestly I think it’s the ears. Really sexy.”  
“You’re a nerd.” It’s not the first time Lexa’s heard that but for the look on Clarke’s face she’ll forgive it.   
“You’re the one who brought up Jar Jar Binks. You didn’t even go with Chewy or something cool from the originals, you went with the prequels biggest disappointment.”   
“Shut up.” Suddenly the hand behind her neck is pulling her into a searing kiss and she almost forgets to respond. Clarke’s lips are softer than she had thought, more tender than a drunken hook up as if she wasn’t sure if it was ok. Lexa couldn’t help but let her hands wander slightly to grip the smaller woman’s hips and Clarke cradled her face and for a moment she wondered how two bodies could fit together so perfectly.   
Too soon, Clarke pulled away with a steely face and open eyes and Lexa almost chases her lips. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”   
“It’s fine. I understand.” Clarke separates herself fully, putting space between them. Lexa reaches for her hand, reluctant to let her go.   
“No.” Clarke shakes her head and shrugs her off. “You really don’t.” There are tears in her eyes when she turns away and every cell in Lexa’s body screams at her to follow but she stands frozen, surrounded by strangers. It’s time she went home.


	3. I got tricks I'd like to show you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa recovers from the night before, Raven and Anya are gold and need more love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long update with all the Lexa backstory and a fair bit of angst.  
> There's character death mentioned in this bit in a fair bit of detail and the grief that comes from it, so sorry for that.  
> Also i've got more swearing in this. Please let me know how you find it

Lexa wakes up on her couch, a half empty bottle of water on her chest and her phone on the floor beside her. She looks to her side and see’s her dress tossed on the floor haphazardly and thanks some higher power that Anya is almost certainly too wrapped up at Raven’s to come home this early.   
She had stayed a little longer than the incident with Clarke, was dragged into a drinking game by Raven and a couple of guys who in no way looked like they would handle their drink as well as they had. Monty, she thinks the smaller and Jasper, the tall one with those ridiculous goggles.   
She’d felt better after that, prepared to stay after all, until she’d ventured to the bathroom to find a giggling Clarke all over some tall guy with floppy hair who had his hands set on her hips as Lexa had an hour or so earlier. She remembers the way she caught Clarke’s eye and the way her veins had frozen irrationally and selfishly and she turned and left without a good bye.  
Anya had called her when she’d realised she was gone, but she’d been ignored as Lexa sat alone on her couch and scrolled through old photos of her and Costia before eventually passing out.  
Lexa doesn’t quite know what came over her, what made her act like a teenager who thought that just because she’d kissed the girl she somehow owned her. Lexa knew the whole time the history between Clarke and Finn and she knew that the last thing the blonde will want is her being as jealous and possessive as she was feeling last night. No, that had never been her style.  
But then she’d been with Costia since they were kids, they had loved each other long before they had known what love even was. Their relationship had felt inevitable, inescapable, neither of them had entertained the idea of wanting someone else more from the moment of meeting to the last seconds they shared together. Lexa clutching Costia’s hand as she was wheeled away for one last surgery, one last chance to save her.   
Lexa had never been jealous before because she never had any reason to be.  
Of, course Clarke had every right to do what she liked with whoever she liked. But there was something about her that Lexa couldn’t shake, the curve of her waist, the feel of her lips, the husk of her voice and it was way inappropriate to think like this about a girl she’d barely met. But it had been so long for Lexa that someone outside of her sister had looked at her like she was anything other than the unthinking, unfeeling machine she had to be while in the office (And, if she were being honest with herself outside of the office as well) Clarke had looked at her like she was human. Logically, so had everyone else she’d met at that party, but Clarke had done more that just see her, it had felt like she’d seen straight through her bravado and brought out this childlike version of her which had long been buried.   
Lexa had inherited a third of her family’s business empire when she was 18 following the death of her father, Anya had sold her share and encouraged Lexa to do the same. But Lexa had never been the rebel that Anya had, she had always been invested in the company that her parents had built before she was born and wanted to hold on to that connection to them. When she was 20 the CEO, Nia had been busted for large scale embezzlement and corruption of which Lexa had not been aware forcing her to quit college and take over the management of the business. Anya had nearly killed her when she found out.  
What followed was a bitter showdown between the loyal employees who had worked for her parents previously and those who had sworn allegiance to Nia while she was in charge and thought that Lexa wouldn’t be able to lead being so young. So she had hardened, she refused to show mercy or weakness, she had removed those who were not loyal to her demoting or firing as she saw fit. She had saw off the tribunal in which Nia was charged and sentenced, maintained her innocence and the ignorance of her fellow board members and had over time successfully restored confidence in the company and the board of directors. What she hadn’t expected was for a disgruntled employee to break into her apartment and plant a bomb.  
What she hadn’t expected was to be held up in the office on another late night.

What she hadn’t expected was for Costia to let herself in to make them a surprise meal for when she got home.

What she hadn’t expected was to end up in the intensive care unit of a private hospital. Cringing at the sanitized talk of the nurses and the white of the walls when all she wanted to do was scream and tear the whole place down and let the whole world know that that’s her girlfriend in there, that’s her whole life lying in that bed and there’s nothing she can do. 

Lexa snaps out of her memories and forgets what it is that lead her to think about that awful, night where she thought her world was going to collapse. But it didn’t. She got up, she went to work, she carried on and swore never to care about someone quite so much when they be taken away so easily.   
Lexa knows what happened with Clarke last night at the party, she knows that whatever Clarke’s feelings are right now there’s no way Lexa can risk getting involved like that again.   
Lexa looks at the time in her phone and whines when she see’s its almost 12, she gets up and tries to make something to eat and is eternally grateful that her hard work has built a loyal and competent enough team to cope when she takes away off every now and again because there is no way she’s in any state to work today.   
She reluctantly picks up her phone and calls Anya, conscious that she’ll be worried.   
“I called like 60 times last night.” Is the greeting she gets and, yeah, she sort of deserved it.  
“7 times.” She corrects.  
“You understand that’s still a pretty shitty amount if times to just ignore.”   
“Sorry An, I just had to get some space.” She replies guiltily.  
“Should be.” There’s a pause on the other end, Lexa hears Anya take a breath. “I heard about Clarke.”  
“What about her?”  
“Don’t play dumb, Lex.” Lexa knew it was a longshot, trying to lie to the person who knows her best.   
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She tries. “We were drunk, we kissed.”  
“Oh come on, if it were nothing then you wouldn’t have left.”  
“It was nothing to her, so it doesn’t matter.” She knew she’d end up saying more than she wanted to.  
“Of course it matters. Why do you think that?”  
“She bolted as soon as it happened, then I saw her all over some guy later on.” There was no point withholding now.  
There was a distant murmuring on the other end of the line. “Yeah that doesn’t sound like Clarke.”  
“Oh my god are you sharing this with Raven?” Lexa was horrified.  
“Ray has your back, don’t worry. Plus she knows Clarke super well.” There was another murmur and a rustle.  
“Hey Lex, it’s Raven. Look I know it looked crap but the first thing she asked me this morning was where you went. That’s before even demanding food. Do you know how impressive that is?”  
“Wait, she stayed over? Are you doing this while she’s still there?”  
“Nope, she left an hour ago. That’s not the point though. Who’s this guy you saw her with?”  
Lexa rolled her eyes. “Well if I knew his name I would have said it.”   
“Well what did he look like genius?”  
“Tall, dark sort of floppy hair. Muscular but not as much as Lincoln.”  
There was a murmur again in the background. “Yeah sounds like Bellamy. You got nothing to worry about there, just friends.”  
“Look, I appreciate how much you and Anya want me to get laid or whatever but Clarke is free to do as she pleases with whoever. It doesn’t matter if this Bellamy is a friend or her fucking husband, just because we kissed doesn’t mean anything.”  
“Lexaaaaaaaa” Raven was capable of the most unbearable whining.   
“Raven I mean it.”   
“Fine. But if I give you her number, which she made me promise to do by the way, will you at least consider texting her?”   
Lexa huffed. “Fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you likey please let me know either through comment, kudos or my tumblr  
> http://time-to-girl-the-hell-up.tumblr.com/   
> thanks for reading


End file.
